A couple of things I saw, heard, and thought of recently has led me to embark on a new journey. It's no secret to myself that for a very long time I have relied on everything but God to try and get me to the point of happiness and health. My main trigger since my teenage years has been food. This "food high" stemmed from a long line of issues dealing with relationship problems, low self-esteem, and various other issues I won't get into now. I don't need to sit hours on the therapists sofa to tell me that I am trying to fill a hole that just keeps getting deeper as time goes on. I am a food addict with a real eating disorder. But, mostly I have had a faith disorder. If you know anything about the story of the Israelites in bible where they are circling the mountain and finally God tells them to turn a different direction instead of continuing in the circle. Well, this is exactly what happened to me. I have been circling the mountain of taking care of some health issues for quite some time now and it is time to turn North. I have been circling the mountain in letting God take control of me and this silliness just has to stop. Over the past year, I have had multiple vitamin deficiencies, elevated liver enzymes (aka liver disease), and furthermore was diagnosed with Celiac disease. What have I done about it? A BIG FAT NOTHING! What am I doing to my body? Why in the world would I take something so precious for granted and just abuse it to the point where I might cause some irreversible damage to it?
During this journey, I am also relying on the book "Made to Crave" by Lisa TerKeurst. I want to share a passage from her book with you:
"Either we can be victimized and become victims, or we can be victimized and rise above it. Often it is easier to play the victim than take off our masks and ask for help. We get comfortable with our victim status. It becomes our identity and is hard to give up. The Israelites often played the victim card, and I love what God finally tells them, 'You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north' (Deuteronomy 2:3 [NASB]). Turn north! It's time to move on! Self-pity, fear, pride, and negativity paralyze us. Taking off our masks takes courage, but if we don't do it, we will remain in our victim status and end up stunted."
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I may or may not get brave enough to share with you how my problems began, but I am brave enough to share with you my journey of the road back to health and how I plan to let God take control of me. I find comfort in today's message from my church when our Pastor shared the following verse from John 19:30:
Tomorrow I will be posting my plan of action, the reasoning behind that plan, and how it came about, and my stats with pictures.
Happy Easter everyone!
XOXO
Kimberly
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